Zactly Disease

I recently found myself afflicted with the pervasive and much dreaded Zactly Disease.

Jenn: eggzactly
Michele: zactly?!
uhoh
you gots
de
dreaded
ZACTLY DISEASE!!!!
Jenn: oh noes!!!!!
 
I was concerned that I would be stuck with this awful disease for the rest of my life, or at least until I could get home to shower and brush my teeth or something. But thankfully I did not have to suffer long as Michele, in her infinite wisdom, taught me a simple and quick cure.
 
Michele: quick.. do a dance!
jump up and down!
and spin 3 times
Jenn: ::shimmy shimmy shimmy::
::jump jump jump::
::spin spin spin::
Michele: CURED!
Jenn: hoooray!

Remember these important steps the next time you come down with the Zactly Disease. For those of you who work better with a visual example, here's a handy dandy picture. I highly recommend that you print it out, laminate it and store it in your wallet - it just might save your life someday!

Beware of Jetsam and Flotsam

I'm sure many of you have registered for emails to be sent to you for alerts about sales at various locations.  I know I have, and although I usually delete most of them, I'm so glad that I took a look at an email I recently received from REI.  

First, some background to the story.  While describing his Fourth of July activities to me, my friend Mike said that he was out on the Charles River on a friend's boat, and was debating about whether he should jump into the river or not, as so many others around him were doing.  (For those of you not from Boston/unfamiliar with the Charles River, information about why he was hesitating).  He finally decided that this was probably his only chance to ever swim in the river, so dove in.  After returning to my office, I saw that I had an email from REI telling me about their upcoming events.  (REI stores have a calendar of events for the upcoming month of things that will be happening at the local stores: for Boston people, for DC people, all others, go here and type in your location).  One of the events was, lo and behold, a Charles River Swim!  So I clicked on the event in order to share with Mike.  Upon reading about the swim, however, I was struck by an interesting phrase: Swimmers may encounter random jetsam and flotsam in the river."


So I emailed Mike:

Apparently… you can swim the Charles in a race!  Read the description and let me know if anything stands out to you.

He emailed back:

Whatever do you mean?

oh….wait…..Swimmers may encounter random jetsam and flotsam in the river.

Naturally, I needed to share this with Jenn.  So I sent her the same link, and she laughed about the jetsam and flotsam in the water.

Jennifer: hehe jetsam and flotsamMichele: i had no idea ursula was lurking just out the window!

 Jennifer: better watch out!!Michele: now i not only have to be ware of elelator sharks.. but ursula as well!maybe she controls the sharks!!

dundundunnnn

Jennifer: ooohhh maybe she does!

Michele: ruh roh!

Jennifer: i feel the need to draw a picture..Jennifer: this picture will be epidor epicwhatev

And epic it is:

Elelator Sharks

If you've never seen Malibu Shark Attack, you are missing out on some quality shark attack and subsequent killing action. The basic plot is this:

"An underwater earthquake generates a tsunami that strikes Malibu, bringing a hunting pack of prehistoric-looking goblin sharks to the surface. Although the beach is evacuated before the big wave strikes, a group of lifeguards and a crew of construction workers are stranded in the high water and have to fight the sharks to get to dry land."

The high water allows the sharks to swim right up to buildings and have a human feast as shown in this well-acted clip. But the humans fought back with chain saws from the construction site and were finally able to defeat the sharks.

One day shortly after our viewing of this movie, it began to rain heavily at Michele's office and we feared this might cause the river to rise and in no time sharks would start swimming around the building, taking elelators to attack unsuspecting employees. Michele went to a meeting and was gone for some time, so I was sure this is what had happened to her:

Thankfully, she was sure to take her chainsaw along and made it out alive!

Jenn: michele run away for a long timei hope the sharks did not get you!! Michele: they almost didbut then i chopped them up with the chainsawbut then more came cause of the scent of chopped up shark so i had to enlist everyone to chop the sharks with chainsaws and various toolsit was a very harrowing experience